Me and My Granddaughter At Target

My sister was kind enough to write up an incident that happened to her a few years ago. Here are her words:

“I had gone shopping at a local Target store with my granddaughter. As I pushed the cart she asked if she could walk beside me instead of ride inside. She was about four at the time and wanted to be a big girl so I let her. We were in the toy section and I noticed a man at the end of the isle just standing there, not looking at us but not really looking at anything in particular. I thought it was strange. My granddaughter and I moved to the luggage section to look at a backpack for her. As we were looking at what color backpack to buy I looked at the end of the isle and the same man was there, again not looking at anything in particular. All my senses starting screaming at me. I grabbed my granddaughter and put her in the cart. I told her there was a bad man following us and she had no choice but to be inside. We quickly went to the front of the store where I decided to stop and grab some colored paper. Again, within minutes he was standing at the end of the isle. We went as fast as we could to the check out stands and told the clerk what was going on. She basically blew it off as me being paranoid. I demanded someone walk us out of the store to our car and stay until we were safely in the car and on our way. They agreed to that. As I thought about the incident later I realized that as I was walking down the main isle of the toy section I had seen the same man walking towards us and had a funny feeling about him then. Always listen to your inner voice. It’s probably right on. I hate to think what would have happened that day had I not been taught by my sister to always be aware of my surroundings, always.”

My sister did everything right that day and probably saved her granddaughter’s life. A few months prior, my martial arts friends and I had conducted a self defense seminar for her and her grandkids and she and I have had (and still have) many conversations about safety and security. I’ve always been so happy that she took to the subject so readily, and she has very good instincts. So let’s break this down.

Awareness: Her awareness was the number one thing that saved her granddaughter that day. She was paying attention to her surroundings and noticed the man acting outside of what you would consider normal behavior. 

Pay attention to behavior: One of the key elements to awareness is to have a baseline for what is considered normal behavior for your surroundings, then look for outliers, or people who are acting abnormally. At Target, everyone is busy shopping, so a man who is just loitering, not really looking at anything should catch your attention. From then, you observe behavior. If she had moved on and he went somewhere else, then it wouldn’t have been an issue. But he followed her to three separate locations. That is a huge red flag, and she was absolutely right to conclude he was a threat. 

Listen to your intuition: My sister could have rationalized it away, convinced herself that she was being paranoid, decided she was too busy, didn’t want to scare her granddaughter, or made any number of excuses. Instead, she was honest with her granddaughter but remained calm. She knew exactly what to do, and went to security for help.

Be confident: At first security didn’t want to believe her. She could have been embarrassed or doubted herself. But she was confident and insisted on being heard and taken seriously. This is critical. No one will take your safety as seriously as you do. You might be questioned or even laughed at. But stick to your guns, as my sister did, and insist that you get what you need, in this case, an escort to the car. Leave immediately. Any shopping you have to do or errands you have to run can wait. 

It is sad that we have to be so careful, but the threat is real and children are kidnapped in scenarios just like this. In fact, this is one of several incidents I have heard of parents noticing someone watching their kids in a store. One of my mantras is “security habits are not effective unless you practice them consistently.” This doesn’t mean we should walk around in fear, but we should always pay attention to our surroundings and doubly so with our precious children. 

Thank you so much to my sister for writing this. It is so valuable to have a parent and grandparent’s viewpoint and experience to draw from. I deeply appreciate your help and support, as always.