Predators, or the people who would seek to do you harm, are looking for an easy target, an easy prey choice. They want to find someone who looks weak, who is not paying attention, and who likely will not fight back if they are attacked. Predators don’t want a complicated situation, they just want to grab your purse/phone/you/etc. and get the heck out of there. They want an easy score. So, let’s learn how to send a signal that you are not an easy target!
Walk with purpose and confidence. The way you hold yourself when you walk sends a signal to those around you. Next time you are out, do a little people watching. Who looks confident and who looks unsure of themselves? Why do you think so? Confident people tend to stand up straight, walk with a sense of purpose, and are aware of what is around them. My sister told me once that I always look like I know where I am going even if I don’t. I blame that on years of martial arts training!
Make good eye contact with people. When you pass someone, look them in the eye and smile or say hello. It’s a friendly thing to do, plus it lets them know that you are aware of them. It may seem subtle, but these little things add up to a persona that tells the world that you are aware and in control.
Define your personal space. There is what I call “the bubble,” an area around my body that is my personal space. This differs for everyone, but for me it is about three to six feet, depending on the situation. Everything outside of my personal space has a lower security risk. I will still pay attention, but at that distance I am monitoring and maybe leaving a potentially risky area. If someone that I am not comfortable with enters my bubble, everything changes. I try to put distance between myself and them and my body instantly goes from relaxed to alert. This does not mean that I take a fighting stance, necessarily. It can be subtle, the way I place my feet, I might turn to the side or scan my surroundings to make sure I know where my exits are. A good example of this might be a panhandler on the street. Mostly they are harmless, but I still don’t let them get close enough to touch me. Another example is if someone insists on standing uncomfortably close to me in line at the grocery store, I will turn to the side and move. If that doesn’t work, I will let them go in front of me in line. It rarely happens, but to me it is worth it to wait an extra few minutes for my comfort level.
These examples could also go for coworkers who make you uncomfortable, or guys who are trying to hit on you in a social situation. You define your personal space and do not let anyone pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with.
Don’t walk in the middle of a group. If you are out and about and you come upon two or more people walking together, make sure you do not walk through the group. Most of the time there is no risk, but it is a good security habit to be aware of groups and stay to the outside. The reason for this is if you walk in the middle and they do have bad intentions, it is very easy for them to grab you from both sides and make your escape that much more difficult. Do yourself a favor and train yourself to recognize groups and stay to the outside of them.
Put your phone away while in public places. I see people all the time, head down, on their phone, completely oblivious to what’s going on around them. I love my smartphone as much as the next girl, but when I am out and about, it is away in my purse. If I decide to take a call or look something up, I will position myself with my back to a wall or in a similarly safe posture where no one can come up from behind me and I can keep an eye on things.
Put those earbuds away! I know a lot of people are not going to want to hear this, but earbuds are an announcement to the world that your awareness is compromised. Not only is your hearing diminished, your concentration is divided between what’s around you and what you are listening to. Please put the earbuds away when you’re in public, especially if you’re walking or running alone. They make you a very tempting target for a mugging or worse.
Wear clothes that don’t restrict movement and shoes that are easy to walk and even run in. I don’t want to cramp your style, but you can still dress professional/classy/sexy without compromising your ability to move if you need to. Wearing clothes that are so tight you can barely breathe or so short that you can barely walk is a signal to predators as well as a hindrance to your movement. Same with shoes. I always wear shoes that are comfortable and that I can run in if I have to. Usually I wear flats, but if I have to wear heels, I like to wear ballroom dance shoes. They are beautiful, and designed to stay on your feet while you are dancing, so you will have lots of mobility.
Have a purse that is not easy to steal. I like to wear bags crossbody so that my hands are always free. I also carry a theft resistant bag that closes in such a way someone can’t get into it while I am wearing it and it is cut resistant. Whatever style of purse you choose, make sure you can hang on to it if you have to run or fight or someone tries to grab it. Practice with a friend; it’s actually more fun than you might think!
Don't put your purse in shopping carts or other places where it is easy to steal. This is a pet peeve of mine, and I see it all the time in stores. Women leaving their purse in the shopping cart, leaving their phone on the table, burying their head in the trunk, while talking on their phone, with their purse in the cart. You are risking getting your purse stolen at a minimum, and getting shoved in the trunk of your own car and kidnapped as a worse scenario. Either way, it’s a really bad position to be in.
I had a friend who went to get a gift wrapped at a department store. She put her purse down on the counter right next to her while she was choosing her wrapping paper. It was a few inches away from her, nothing could possibly happen with it that close, right? Wrong. When she finished selecting her paper, she turned back around and the purse was gone. Hang on to your purse at all times!
I’m sure all this sounds like a lot of work, but it’s all common sense stuff that is so second nature to me, I hardly think about it. It’s interesting to break it down and type it out and see how many things I do automatically to lower my risk of finding myself in a dangerous situation. If you spend some time building these habits, before you know it, it will be second nature to you too! Remember, security habits only work if you practice them consistently.
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